I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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