part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
