Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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