don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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