i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
