So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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