I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize