Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
