Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize