i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
