For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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