I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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