the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
