You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
