I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
