i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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