He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize