dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
