god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
