I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
