her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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