People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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