He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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