she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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