What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
