HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
