Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize