you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
