My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
