i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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