I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
