I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
