its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
