I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
