Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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