That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
