im drinking this country out of the recession.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
