we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
