Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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