Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
