I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize