Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
