Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
