Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
