question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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