dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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