Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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