first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
