I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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