I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
