Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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