fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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