So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
