he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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