He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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