You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize