addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
