Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
